Keep a journal

It is the end of the day and I am tired. My mind is full and my body is aching. Before I go to bed I need to clear my head. What happened today? What did I do wrong? What did I do right? What could I have done better? (I was stressed because of my bosses' behaviour. I had a nice conversation with a friend. I should use the phrase, "we will see" more often, instead of answering directly something that I would later regret.)

If you do this every day, you are avoiding being a robot, because you think about yourself, about your reactions and your choices. In the end, you are learning yourself. You wouldn't imagine what kind of personal satisfaction is this....to get to know yourself a little more day by day.

"When people make plans, God is laughing"

Dear friends,

I had an accident last week that could have been very tragic but thank god I got out of it very well and nobody got hurt. I lost control of the car and I drove towards a wall. When you think you have everything under control and everything depends on you, there comes a lesson to teach you that it is not you that makes desicions but gods, fate, karma (name it anything you like), but not you. 

To tell you the truth, I am a control freak that doesn't show much trust to others and I lack of faith as well. When I make plans, God is there to remind me that I cannot decide about everything, he is there to show me that I need to have some faith in him. There is a greek saying "When people make plans, God is laughing", which means you never know what happens and never take anything for granted.

Playing games

Being in a virtual world, when you can have a mistake and then take it back. You have many chances to do it right. You just have to be patient to go through the same phase again and again. You’ve watched the way your opponent plays, you’ve discovered his vulnerabilities and the next time you live longer and if you insist you can go through it as a winner. Many monsters to kill, many battles to fight and the allies are only a few. The more you kill, the more allies you get. 
Does it remind you of real life? Could be… How many times haven’t we noticed that bad things in our life are repeated? For example a bad relationship, a bad co-operation, a bad reaction or decision. I’ ll tell you a very recent example that happened to me twice and I remembered the second time what would be the best choice that would get my through this phase in the game of life. I was in a dilemma: disappoint someone or myself? The first time I chose to disappoint myself and that was a wrong decision that affected the rest of my life. I had a second opportunity to fix it. I was in a similar dilemma and I chose to disappoint someone else and not myself. This decision got me into track at once and I moved on to the next level. 

The difficult part is to remember!! Remember what happened last time, learn from your mistakes and observe the situation to see the similarities and avoid the same mistakes. This is how you kill the monster and you move on. Be patient because it is possible that you will have to fight the same level more than two times to be able to kill the monster. And be aware that the monster can change costume as well!
Play well and you will win in the end. And if you haven’t achieved as much as you want down here on earth, there is plenty of time up in afterlife, or even more in the next lives ahead.

Saying "No"

Are you a "Yes" person? Do you easily feel pressure? Have you ever done anything for someone just because you want to think of you as a nice person and not because you wanted it to?

I am a  "yes" person and I suffer from it. I say yes to things that are not my priority and then I don't have time and energy to do what is really important to me. Lately I have started changing this situation to "Think before you talk". When they ask me a question "Do you want to be my made of honor?" I pause for a second to think "mmm I think this not a good idea for me right now, I am sorry". An then, I feel relieved that I managed to say "no" in a polite way.

Sometimes I am trying to avoid saying yes and I end up being really rude. "Do you want to come with us tonight?" , "No, no, no impossible, I wouldn' t waste my time with you". Very rude! And then I feel bad again for saying no. So next time I say yes of course.

The reason why the yes people say yes is because they don't know how to say "no". There is always a way to say no, without hurting people so much and without giving so much explanation for your  decision.

Another way of looking at it is saying yes whatever you want to do, but you cannot do tthis because of other obligationss. For example, I have arranged to work tonight and some friends call me up to go our. I know you want to go, but is it the right time to say "Yes"? Think about how many times we say "yes" to our needs, for example, bying a dress or shoes, when this is really not what we should do?. You know if it was the right "yes" to say, because you feel quilty afterwards. Our emotions at the time of the dilemma are swollen towards saying "yes" because we really like those shoes. Our mind also finds excuses to support our emotions. And we buy the shoes, but later we don't have money to go to the supermarket. And there starts quilt... and now you know it was the wrong "yes" to say...

Why washing the dishes makes you feel better

Have you ever thought that washing the dishes makes you feel better? Most of women wash the dishes more than two times a day. We certainly have observed that having a bath makes us feel better, going for a swim takes our bad thoughts away, washing our face wakes us up, but washing the dishes??!

Water has a magical influence in our phycology. It doesn't only wash the dirt away, but simultaneously and unconciously cleans our mind and heart. Without realizing it, what we do with our body reflects in our inner self and leaves a stamp on us. The more often you are in contact with water the less troubled your mind is. Observe it.

The times that you don' t feel like washing the dishes or having a bath, maybe it is because you really want to be absorded by sadness. Sometimes it helps when while washing the dishes you imagine that you are washing your mind as well.

Here is a video of how water is influenced by our thoughts and gives us back this energy multiplied.
Watch in youtube

Also, find here the hidden messages of water.

TURN THIS

 INTO THIS

Mirror mirror

I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror. Before I go out, I put on my make-up and I look in the mirror. I am going to the hairdresser and I look in the mirror. I buy some new clothes and I look in the mirror. I go to the gym, and then I look in the mirror. I look at myself…

I look at myself because I am trying to love myself. The more I am trying to look good the less I think of myself but at least I am trying to make it better. 

Our purpose as human beings is to love ourselves and if we achieve this, then we love the others too. How many times haven’t you heard that first of all you have to love yourself to be able to give more to people around you?  How many times haven’t you heard that self-esteem makes us achieve goals?

We are looking for ways to love ourselves:

• The nun has her connection with God and doesn’t really care about her appearance, but she loves herself because she believes that God loves her.
• The woman who has really low self- esteem and none of the roles in her life make her feel good about herself, uses a lot of make-up and wants to be beautiful.
• The philosopher who is trying to get to know the inner self, he or she is also trying to accept the flaws and love himself/  herself the way they are and try for improvement.
• Moms usually don’t spend much time in front of the mirror, not only because they don’t have time, but because they get the love they want from their children.
• A depressed man or woman rarely looks into the mirror.

The mirror is like life. When we look at it, it is because we want to live, we are in need of an improvement and of love. Don’t forget to look into the mirror. It is like the window we see in a room. It gives us hope and encouragement, because it reminds us that we have to try to look and be better people. 

The same goes with the mirror inside us. When you have never looked inside you, the mirror in there is dark and dusty. You cannot see anything. In order to see you need to clean it up by observing your behaviors and your reactions as if it is your fault for anything that is going on in your life.

“Mirror mirror, who is the prettiest of all?” Train your mirror to give you positive feedback and make it a habit loving yourself.

Look after yourself by starting looking in the mirror....!!

Feeling alone

There are people around and you feel alone, but when they are gone, you miss them, you feel worse and you want to cry. There is something inside you that says being alone is what you need, but the thing is you are never alone. You are always with yourself. You are trying to get away from yourself but this is impossible.

What is "yourself"? Your thoughts, your emotions, your ideas. You don' t feel good about these. It is like it's you and the person you dislike inside you. So, you feel alone, because this person inside you has wishes that are unfullfiled and fears that are not faced. You, on the other hand, just want to feel free in your heart and have good thoughts.

When you disagree with this person inside you, then you feel alone. Sometimes, you meet a friend and this friend makes you feel good about yourself. It is because this friend takes the place of this person inside you that you disagree with. For a while, everything is fine and you feel someone is supporting you. If you don't convince your negative friend inside you that where you are and what you feel is great, you will feel alone again. 

We cannot be attached to other people to forget our loneliness, but face our loneliness in our heart. Loving this person inside you and stop arguing with it, might do some difference. So, love "yourself" and you will stop feeling lonely.

Clever Sharing

We face problems ourselves and our partner does as well. Is it wise to share it with each other and support each other or is it best to keep your feelings and thoughts inside until you find a solution?  You think that if you share it with your partner he will not understand and he cannot help anyway. Why bother him/her?

Which is harder? To speak to him/ her or not? I believe harder is to speak to each other because you have to think how to say it, how to express yourself and the other person should also be careful not to make fun or criticize his/ her spouse. It is called COMMUNICATION.

Five reasons you need to share your problem with your spouse:

1 )  If you put your problem in words, you will understand it better yourself.

2)  He or she will excuse you if you have weird and for no reason emotional outbreaks.

3) You should understand you are not alone, so act like it.

4) By talking to each other you might find out deeper reasons you are in this situation.

5)  You are working on your communication skills.

Five behaviors to avoid:

1)      Don’t get angry.

2)      Don‘t talk before the other person finishes what he/ she  has to say.

3)      Don’t criticize.

4)      Be calm.

5)      Be supportive.

Worry or not to worry..

Epictetus, is a Greek Stoic Philosopher that makes you feel less quilty about your life and choices. He says that it is wise to worry about the things that are depended only on you. You cannot worry about losing your job, because it doesn't depend on you, you cannot worry about losing your child or your husband because it doesn't depend on you, you cannot worry about the future because it doesn't depend on you. If obstacles are to come in the future, it will make you stronger, like Hercules became when he faced the challenges Gods put him through.

Then worry about what?? What does depend on me? The way I see it. There has been an accident and three persons witness it. One of them faints out because of the blood. The second one screams for help and the third one calls an ambulance. The incident is the same. The way each person sees it is different and makes his life better or worse. What do we do in our own circumstances? How do we react? Doesn't it depend on us, our reaction? Isn't it up to us only?

If something bad is happening in your life, is it your choice to look at it as a bad thing or not? If not, then why if the same thing happens to two different people, the one sees it as an opporrtunity and the other as a misfortune? Being pregnant can be a hassle for a woman, for another one can be wonderful.When I prepared my wedding I had the best year ever. Have you heard brides to have stress and wish this preparation would be over soon? I have heard alot to say it is a big hassle.

IT IS THE WAY WE SEE IT! There is nothing bad or good. We can call everything bad, we can choose to call them good.

More about Epictetus 
Epictetus Quotes

To be continued....

Don't quit... but if you do, it's ok!

How many things have we not started and then quit because of our circumstances in life and mostly because of our phycology. All this time I forgot about Alice. I felt alone and sad, struggling through alot of troubles concerning my job, relationship and most important health. Of course I haven' t overcome these problems yet, but I feel a little bit stronger to start writing to you again.

When you feel weak, how can you offer anything? It is like offering money to the poor, whereas you don' t even have money to get food for yourself. We all get in to crisis but the good news is that we cannot stay there forever. Everything comes and goes, bad and good. 

Maybe you have quited something that you really like. When you feel stronger you can start it again. It is never too late. Maybe you quit because you were dissapointed by yourself, maybe because something more important came up or because you were being lazy. It is ok ! Start again when you feel ready! You are a different person every day! You are changing, life changes you, even though you don't observe the differences. "Everything flows" says Irakleitos, the famous Greek philosopher, which means that everything changes, nothing ever stays the same. 

Everyday you can believe in you as you are different person, and start over....!