I found out that my biggest problem that doesn't let me be free is my obsession with order. Everyone has obsessions, mine is everything to be tidy always and at all times, which of course is impossible. This means I want order not only in my things in the house, in my life as well. You could say, this is good...but hear why it is not. When everything is not in order I feel depressed and stressed out! This means only a few times I am fine!
Don't you think order is a bit impossible to preserve when everything is moving and I am moving? This makes me think I dont really have the need of order, but the need of static situations, where nothing moves and nothing changes. When something is static I feel ok and secure. In other words I have a fear of change!
When you find out something about yourself three steps follow:
1. Observe yourserlf if this idea is true and where is it shown
2. Think about it
3. Realize and confirm
4. Change behaviour to improve your life
I am at phase 1.
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